February 09, 2008

I'm Too Scared To Drive

I turn sixteen in a few months and I still don't have my permit. Most people my age get their permit the second they turn fifteen, but I've been putting it off. I'm worried I'll regret it when I'm older and wish I'd gotten my license earlier. But I just can't bring myself to get my permit for one reason: I don't want to be responsible for people's lives.

I'm worried that I'll hurt people I care about if I drive. Each time I'm behind the wheel and my friends are with me their lives are in my hands. My mom constantly tells me the story of her friend's daughter who got in a car crash as a teenager and is now a vegetble. In some ways that story is keeping me from driving. What if I were to kill my friend? I don't know if I would be able to live with that pain. Seeing my friend in a wheel chair or in a coma and knowing it was my fault is not something I want to live with.

All the other drivers around me are in danger when I drive. If I make a mistake I could kill an innocent person I never met. One mistake and their life could be over. I can't even think about death that was out of my control let alone one that I caused.

What if one night I made a mistake and had a drink before I got behind the wheel? I know someone who got drunk driving charges and it changed their life. They lost their job and put their marriage in turmoil. Thankfully, no one was injured. But someone easily could have. I'm scared that I'll make that mistake and have to live with for the rest of my life.

This is part of what is keeping me from driving. I don't want to be responsible for other people's lives. I don't want to have to live with the guilt of injuring someone else. Did you have this worry when you started driving? How did you get over it? Any tips or ideas? I know it is good to be aware, but not to the point where you are too fearful to drive.

54 comments:

C-Squared said...

I totally know how you feel- I have the exact same problem. I'm 17 now and I turn 18 in May, and I still haven't gotten my license.

There's nothing wrong with not driving as soon as you turn 16. It's good to be worried about how you could affect other people. Too many other people our age think that driving is some privilege that they deserve, when actually it's a very serious thing.

You may be afraid of it, but you should still start learning. It gets really tiring after awhile not being able to take yourself where you want to go, and having to depend on others for a ride.

Selene said...

C-Squared,
There are so many people my age that think they deserve to drive and don't think of the consequences. They text, do their hair and makeup, take their hands off the wheel, drink and drive, and basically do things that can endanger other people's lives caring about the consequences.

I'm on the other side of the spectrum. I'm so worried that I'll hurt someone that it is preventing me from driving. To them that idea seems preposterous.

You are right, I should start learning. I guess I can study for my test and even if my get permit it doesn't mean I have to drive. It means I have the option to drive.

mariam said...

Isn't it funny that the more responsible people are worried about this stuff but it's the irresponsible people that don't care?

Such is life.

But let me throw something else out... insurance, gas, maintenance costs. It's a complete drain financially. I actually don't drive but I live in a place where transportation is not an issue. The schools, jobs, I've had were always within 30-40 minutes door to door.

I don't know how it is in the States... Visiting my cousins where their housing prices are so high (still) they are looking at far commutes to work.

digital chatter said...

I didn't get my license until I was 22. I STILL was reluctant because I then had two toddlers to strap into the car. You'll know when you are ready.

Cromely said...

My GF is 28, grew up in Sacramento, and still doesn't have her license. She's in no rush. Seattle has a decent bus system so she can get around when I'm out of town. And since she doesn't have to pay for a car, insurance, maintainance, parking, repairs, or anything else like that, she can easily afford a taxi when she needs one.

Or maybe that's why she keeps me around.

A. Caleb Hartley - Business Consultant & Entrepreneur said...

Selene:

Just the fact that you are worried about those things tells me that you are ready to start learning.

My father was a pilot, and he crashed his plane when I was eleven or twelve years old - fortunately I wasn;t with him in the plane when it happened, but both of my uncles on his side of the family were. They all survived, but my dad had second and third degree burns over about half of his body. He died two years later at age 45 - possibly earlier than he would have if not for the crash.

I think about this every time I sit in the pilot's seat, but I think that it makes me a better pilot to remember that I am taking a risk every time I fly, and that it can happen to me, too. So I prepare and learn and practice, and do my best to minimize the risk.

Start learning to drive, and set a good example for your friends who might not think as deeply as you do. We need more drivers like the one you're going to be.

Namaste,
Caleb
Help environmentastic! win the third round of the iBlogCup!

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I agree with Caleb Hartley. If you weren't worried about those things, you'd be a bad driver. I'm sure you'll be a good driver. I advise you to spend a lot of time practicing, getting used to being behind the wheel. Take it really slowly to bring up your comfort level. But trust me, most of the time driving is not difficult and it's safe. You will learn when to be cautious and when you don't need to worry.

Jennifer said...

Don't be in any rush to get your permit. You'll know when you're ready to make that decision for yourself.

I personally waited until I was 18 to get my permit, and even then I didn't want to drive. I only got it because my dad pushed me. I was already scared of what the consequences could be if I were to have a wreck, and pushing me made me revert even more. If I hadn't been pushed and had been allowed to do things on my own time line I would probably have been driving years ago.

Instead I'm 26, and I just got my permit for the 2nd time in my life. Why now? I don't need my license because we have a great public transportation system that will take me anywhere, but I'm finally to the point where I know I want the full experience of my own transportation.

It took me this long to overcome the fears of what can happen when I have the lives of others in my own hands.

Mike said...

There are so many good comments here!

I think it's great that you understand the responsibility you have in your hands when you're guiding a lethal missile. It's the people who don't understand that who are the problem.

If you don't feel that you're ready for it, don't do it yet. Are you able to make correct decisions quickly? If not ...rather wait awhile. Too many young people get their licences too young because they want to be cool and show off - and that's a recipe for disaster.

However, in the long term, learning and having a licence may be an asset. After all, having the ability to drive may, one day, help you to save a life, not take one.

Take your time and one day, when you do feel up to it, start learning slowly and without any pressure. Drive when the roads are quiet, in safe areas, and so on, so that you can build confidence. Don't be in a hurry. Care and experience develops the skills - there's no need to be afraid of the car if you are responsible and develop sufficient skill.

Anonymous said...

I totally know how you feel. In fact I now have my license but I can't stand to drive because I think about wrecking my car or hurting someone. Also don't worry about getting your license at 16, I didn't get mine till I was 18 and my mom was 25 before she got hers. You should get them when you feel ready and just remember that as long as your driving responsibly you shouldn't have an accident.

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